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Self hate and codependency are some of the places where disorganized attachment shows itself most clearly within intimate relationships. Do you expect NOT to matter in your closest relationships? Do you give your power away to others in order to avoid being abandoned? You’re not alone.
← This free video is week #12 in Sarah’s self-paced course, Your Brain and Intimacy, a course about how to heal childhood trauma and move into better relationships using the key concepts from her book, Your Resonant Self.
Curious about Sarah’s Your Brain and Intimacy Book Study Course? Take a Peek!
- How childhood trauma impacts our adult relationships… and how to heal!
- How resonance — what happens when we have a sense that we are understood — is key to beginning self-empathy and self-support
- A foundational understanding of the way the language we use changes the brain, and how it can support us in self-connection, growth and learning
- How you might be keeping yourself stuck in the way you talk to yourself and with others
- Why reassurance is actually harmful, and what to do instead
- How resonance changes our brains and helps us heal painful pasts.
Take a Look Inside the Course
Week 1: Introduction and Welcome
- This week we’ll set our learning container and go over the materials in the introduction, and put in place our understanding of the neurobiology of relationships.
Week 2 – Chapter 1: How We Talk to Ourselves: The Default Mode Network
- This chapter explores the way in which our inner voices affect our relational connections.
Week 3 – Chapter 2: Staying in Emotional Balance: Healthy Self-Regulation
- In this week’s study group we’ll learn how emotional balance in both people influences the relationship.
Week 4 – Chapter 3: Developing Self-Kindness: Introducing the Resonating Self-Witness
- Trust is the focus of our exploration this week. If we prevent ourselves from having trust, we will have a difficult time nourishing relational growth with a partner.
Week 5 – Chapter 4: Taming the Inner Critic: Hearing the Attempt to Contribute
- How do our inner critics sabotage our relationships? How can we invite movement and healing?
Week 6 – Chapter 5: Calming Anxiety: Moving Toward Trust
- Week 6 takes us into the role of anxiety in our connections, and how to move toward more soothing relational spaces. This week we begin to understand the relationship between the vagus nerve and our nervous system states of fight/flight/panicked aloneness and immobilization.
Week 7 – Chapter 6: Time Traveling with Resonance: Healing Old Hurts
- This week’s group takes us into an understanding of trauma and its effect on relationships, and how trauma healing changes us and makes us more available for mutual nourishment
Week 8 – Chapter 7: Claiming Anger’s Creative and Protective Gifts
- What effect does anger have on relationships? Does it have to be toxic, or can it be life-serving?
Week 9 – Chapter 8. Vanquishing Ancient Fears
- In this study group, we’ll look at how our connections are impacted by terror, fear and fear-based anxiety. How does it feel to move toward a true sense of safety?
Week 10 – Chapter 9: Returning from Dissociation
- How do relationships keep us in a state of dissociation? And how can we use this knowledge to claim our full capacity for presence with one another?
Week 11 – Chapter 10: Attachment: How Brains Respond to Accompaniment
- This week’s lesson breaks down our patterns of attachment and explores how we try to make ourselves safe within our attachment styles, and how this effects our relationships.
Week 12 – Chapter 11: Healing Self-Hate and Disorganized Attachment
- In the cramping patterns of self-hate, we often feel we hate ourselves and perhaps lose all hope that our lives matter. How can we survive self-hate in our interpersonal connections?
Week 13 – Chapter 12: Gently Healing Depression
- Often when struggling with depression, we feel despair and hopeless, as if our lives have no meaning, and this changes our ability to act in our connections with others. This week’s lesson shows us how to find richness and create meaning, to feel that self-love is within reach.
Week 14 – Chapter 13: Leaving Behind Addictions and Compulsions: The Contributions of Self-Understanding and Resonance
- Interlocking and mutually canceling sacred vows can leave people with so little room to breathe or exist that addictions become the only answer. How can our understanding of unconscious contracts help us in the journey toward freedom from addictions and compulsions?
Week 15 – Chapter 14: Joy, Community, and Our Outside Voice: Bringing Our Resonating Self-Witness to Others
- This week’s lesson explores the importance of empathizing with excitement, delight and joy, and how dyadic joy is. Understanding the gifts of social engagement – what happens in our body when we’re in ventral vagal, vibrating with other humans in trust and safety, is a key piece of hope that can help keep us going on the path of healing trauma.
Special Offer for Avaiya Participants
Do you long for easy, sweet relationships? Do you sometimes feel stuck, conflicted, dissatisfied, and lonely? Have you read and integrated much of the self-warmth from the book “Your Resonant Self,” and do you still have difficulty with bringing it into life in the space between people? This new book-study-course offers a fresh look into the content of “Your Resonant Self,” from the point of view of our closest relationships, with children, partners, parents, siblings, friends and co-workers, alongside the brain-changing science and insights of the book.
$124.99
Sarah’s Story
I used to struggle with reactive, highly volatile relationships, with my partners, my children, my family… it has taken years of practice developing my own self-resonance and secure attachment to be in joyful connective relationships.
I’m here today to share what I’ve learned since then about how to heal past pains and move into a joyful relationship with ourselves using the insights of my book, Your Resonant Self. Regardless of your age, genetic predisposition or adverse childhood experiences, your brain is capable of building new neural fibers to help self-regulate your emotions and awaken your body as a place of safety and security.
Sign Me Up!
Ready to dive in? You’ll get immediate access to the course once you enroll. We hope to see you inside!
