To see these offerings in a printable format, click here.
Please familiarize yourself with the intention of the group in the classroom on sarahpeyton.com or here.
Session 2: Exploring Chapter 8, Claiming Secure Attachment
Focus: Releasing Unconscious Contracts of Avoidant and/or Ambivalent Attachment
An option for group resonance and discussion, created and offered by Jaya Manske
SUGGESTED FORMAT
1. Take a moment to settle in and say hello (Timing: 1-2 minutes)
2. Choose someone to lead this session.
I recommend a different person volunteer to lead each time. This person will track time and read aloud the instructions that follow (you may also pick 2 people, one to track time and another to read instructions). (Timing: 1 minute)
3. Check-in. Please go around the circle, giving each person an opportunity to share:
– One feeling and/or body sensation you’re experiencing
– (optional) share a sentence or two about how this material on attachment is moving or changing you. After your share, offer a resonance guess for yourself if you’d like to.
(Timing: 1-4 minutes each, total 3-20 minutes)
4. Releasing Unconscious Contracts of Avoidant and/or Ambivalent Attachment
(Timing: remaining time, leaving 5 minutes for closure. Approx. 40-50 minutes)
If you are willing, reflect on the possible contracts directly related to Avoidant or Ambivalent Attachment. You can reflect on insights you may have had during class or, you can see some options from the workbook or the class on ambivalent attachment in the handout here (page 4).
Feel into it, you don’t need to know all the steps to begin. Just the behavior or thought you’d like to shift.
Below are 3 options to approach contract work as a group. Decide what you’d like to do today, knowing you can try different approaches in the future.
Option 1: In smaller sub-groups, support one another to release a contract directly related to your avoidantly or ambivalently attached self. Please keep time travel resonance in mind as you go through the process if you hit any stuck places.
You can review the unconscious contract template here. Or read below.
Review this handout for tips to support your partner in a contract release
Option 2: Work on contracts as a group:
1 . Choose someone to lead
2. People can journal or write in the chat
3. Have the person leading ask everyone:
(give space after each question to consider, also allowing for the person leading to consider their own contract)
a) to connect to the contract that resonants for you and find the words for the start of the contract “I (your name) solemnly swear that I….” (Refer to what arose for you or in reviewing the possible contracts) (create space to look inward)
b) Who or what is the contract made to? (essential self, mother, father, ancestors, humanity, earth, God, universe, etc.)
c) In order to? What is the deep need that is met by doing this/believing this?
4. Once you have it all together, repeat the contract to yourself in its entirety “I (your name) solemnly swear to ____(who was the contract made to)_____, that I will always/ will not never_________________, in order to ____________________________. No matter the cost to myself or those I love.”
5. Become who/what you each made your contract to and ask “________ did you hear this vow?”
Yes ____
No ____
If no, then repeat the words of the vow. If still no, consider if the contract was made to someone else or if the words need to be adjusted.
6. Move to release – staying with who/what you each made your contract to and ask “________ do you like this vow for (your name)”?
a) If ‘no’, release.
“I release you from this contract and I revoke his vow”
b) If ‘yes’, allow others to release and maybe move to support the person with a ‘no’
(choice point) (use the time travel resonance process)
7. Blessing – following the release, what does your essential self, or whoever you made your contract want for you? Create a blessing that encourages you to live in a new way. What do you want for yourself instead?
“And I give you my blessing to…”
8. Come back to yourself and celebrate and/or be with how it is to be you without the contract
9. Take a moment to connect with one another if that seems sweet – how was it for each of you? Share anything you’d like about the process or blessing. Make sure everyone who wants to gets a chance to share.
Option 3: If, instead you want to work with just one person as a group, choose one person to work with and one person to support the process.
Everyone else witnesses.
The full process is on pages 181-182 of the workbook.
Please track who has received support and supported today, so you can rotate each time.
5. Closure: please close by having each person name a need met or a gift received after this discussion. You can read more about this practice here.
(Timing: 5 minutes)
OTHER FORMATS FOR YOU TO CHOOSE FROM:
The suggested format above is meant to create ease, however, your group might instead choose to structure your time around any of these activities or create your own:
- Offer resonant empathy to each other, either in the whole group or in smaller sub-groups (you can use this resonant empathy circle format if you’d like)
- Listen to one of the meditation(s) from chapter 8 together and talk about what comes up for you – Holding Ambivalent Attachment | Holding Avoidant Attachment
- Do one of the homework exercises suggested and discuss
