How to work with resistance

If feeling self-warmth and kindness for your whole self is feeling like a tall order, how about kindness for one small part of yourself? Listen to One Cell Meditation.

Dear <first name>, 

How did you find the Breathing with Resonance meditation in my last email? 

If you experienced pleasant focus, ease, and relaxation with your attention on your breath, feel free to skip this email…

On the other hand, if you could barely get through even 30 seconds of attending to your breath (or had the desire to chuck your listening device out the window!), then this message is for you.Trust me, < first name>, I deeply know the place where self-warmth feels impossible. I used to drive everywhere with a book on my lap, so that I had something to read at stoplights. The self-attacking drone of my inner critic was so sickening, I could barely stand it. 

The horror of being asked to put my attention on my breath or on my body was agonizing before I learned how to practice resonance and self-warmth.

For those of you who struggled with the breathing meditation, I wonder:

What took your attention away? Can you identify the emotional tone of your distraction? Was it worry or anxiety? Was it shame? 

And how does it feel right now, to be bringing attention to it? 

Do you feel a flood of emotions and sensations that feel as though they might drown you if you stop running? Does it feel unsafe to stop the distracting flow of your daily life?

If what you find in this moment is that there is a lot of emotional pain, or that it feels unbearable or boring when you try to meditate, this makes perfect sense. Without loving acceptance and understanding for yourself, your brain might not be a very pleasant (or safe) place to rest.

Can you assure yourself that this makes perfect sense?

Would you enjoy some acknowledgement that you really dislike being in a body sometimes?

Do you wish you could be understood and heard for the disgust, impatience, boredom, anxiety, or outright numbness or blankness that arises when you’re asked to witness your breath?

Bringing warmth for ourselves is sometimes a tall order, as some of you may have noticed while practicing my previous meditation. If bringing warmth to witnessing your full self is difficult, why not try starting with just one little part of you, just one little cell?

The One Cell Meditation introduces a practice of self-warmth for one small part of our bodies. This is a critical skill to develop as part of resonance because early-life trauma often results in our rejection of our full bodies. A path towards healing, and self-warmth, can open up for us by focusing our warmth on one little cell.

With deep warmth, 

Sarah

PS: If you are ready to begin your resonance practice, you can find beginner events upcoming here, and self-study courses here. Stay tuned for the next email in this series where I share what self-resonance is, and how to begin a self-resonance practice.